High Maintenance Friends
One of the people in my life is probably my closest friend in town. I'll call her High Maintenance Girl (HMG). I've known HMG for about 4 years. She is considerably younger than me (about 15 years). When I first met her she flirted with me a lot but after some confusion eventually made it quite clear she wasn't attracted to me. We became quite close. HMG is the epitome of the Type-T high maintenance; she calls me several times a day and we hang out a lot (although less lately than we used to), and of course the focus is mostly on her and her issues/problems/life.
HMG ostensibly has a boyfriend, but that hasn't stopped her from lusting after and sometimes sleeping with several guys in the time I've known her.
For the first couple of years that I knew her I was firmly convinced that after she really got to know me she'd be more interested -- hell, I am smart, cute, and I lavish her with attention. Besides, we obviously get along and have a lot in common. It's been in the last year or so where it really sank in (especially as she went on to hook up with several guys, and of course share with me most of the details) that it just wasn't going to happen (okay, so I'm either slow or an optimist). After all, if she never touches you at all it's pretty clear she's not interested, right?
Interestingly enough, this enabled me to really start honing the DCG technique on her -- not so much deliberately or "artificially", but kind of by default -- I really just stopped caring about that part of it. I still like her and enjoy talking to her, but I really don't care about the rest. Besides, it's clear I'd just be a passing fling or another guy in the stable and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Anyway, the point is that I've noticed in the last couple of weeks or so some signs that maybe the DCG thing is having an effect: 1) she's started to call me "sweetie" in her voicemails, something she'd never done before; 2) she was talking last night about her fascination with various guys, and included me in the list, and 3) when she was leaving, she walked around her car to where I was standing on the curb, just to give me a hug.
What does it mean? I don't really know. But the encouraging thing is, I'm not spending much time thinking about it. Why not? Because I don't care.
YES!
HMG ostensibly has a boyfriend, but that hasn't stopped her from lusting after and sometimes sleeping with several guys in the time I've known her.
For the first couple of years that I knew her I was firmly convinced that after she really got to know me she'd be more interested -- hell, I am smart, cute, and I lavish her with attention. Besides, we obviously get along and have a lot in common. It's been in the last year or so where it really sank in (especially as she went on to hook up with several guys, and of course share with me most of the details) that it just wasn't going to happen (okay, so I'm either slow or an optimist). After all, if she never touches you at all it's pretty clear she's not interested, right?
Interestingly enough, this enabled me to really start honing the DCG technique on her -- not so much deliberately or "artificially", but kind of by default -- I really just stopped caring about that part of it. I still like her and enjoy talking to her, but I really don't care about the rest. Besides, it's clear I'd just be a passing fling or another guy in the stable and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Anyway, the point is that I've noticed in the last couple of weeks or so some signs that maybe the DCG thing is having an effect: 1) she's started to call me "sweetie" in her voicemails, something she'd never done before; 2) she was talking last night about her fascination with various guys, and included me in the list, and 3) when she was leaving, she walked around her car to where I was standing on the curb, just to give me a hug.
What does it mean? I don't really know. But the encouraging thing is, I'm not spending much time thinking about it. Why not? Because I don't care.
YES!
2 Comments:
Ah, the Challenge Card. The most powerful card in the deck.
sounds like the DCG approach isworking. after an opener the DCG approach might also work in dating online because you will seem mysterious and a bit aloof.
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