High Maintenance

I wanted to talk a little bit about the subject of "high maintenance". Besides the obvious fact that few women will admit to being "high maintenance" (after all, if we are to believe the personal ads, any of them can go from blue jeans to dressed up and out on the town), I have noticed that the term is a bit confusing. There are, it seems to me, really two types of HM girls:

• Type-$ -- to some people this is the stereotype of HM. A HMG-Type-$ will expect you to spend lots and lots of money on her -- dinner, dancing, plays, concerts, shopping, gifts, trips, etc. Your worth to her is dependent in not-so-small measure on your ability to fund her activities. As Good Charlotte said, "vacations and shopping sprees, these are a few of her favorite things."
• Type-T -- this one is not so obvious. The HMG-Type-T will want to Talk. A lot. She will call incessantly and expect you to know all the details of her personal life -- her schedule, her friends, what she is thinking/feeling, when her period is, practically everything. Ironically she'll often rag on girls who are HMG-Type-$ -- "aren't you lucky I'm not like that!.

What makes the difference between a normal girl and an HMG? After all, everyone appreciates having money spent on them, and being listened to, so how do you tell? It's simple, really -- it's all about self-centeredness (or lack thereof). HMGs are very self-centered. They expect that because of whatever qualities they may possess, be it a great personality, a great body, intelligence, or what have you, that any guy who is worthy of their time will make them the center of his universe, to the exclusion of almost everything else.